21 Squadron War Diary
2000 hrs L.G. 021
21 SQUADRON S. A. AIR FORCE " S I N G - - S O N G "
O 21 Western Desert 20.00 Hours 3/10/41
'Sing as we Fly Along' @f@f@f@f@f@f@f@f@f@f@f
N.B. Our Defence Officer will apply the Gas------------------ooooooOoooooo------------------ "THE DOINGS"
1). ORCHESTRA 'Thumbs Up' Holly White and hisMistletoes.2). COMMUNITY SINGING 'Tipperary''Pack up your Troubles'3). SCHUBERT THE 'The Lonely Gonorier'SHUTTERBUG(ER)4). GORBLIMEY A Dual PersonalityDr. Zackel & Mr. Hound.5). LEKKERLIEDJIES Boere Orkes.6). DIE MUDDLE EAST Japie in die WesternWoestyn.7). THE LOST G.O. Aubrey the Air Gunner ina little bit of Scotch. * NOG 'N DANSIE Boere Orkes. * THIRSTY THROATS Drink it Down. --- DRINK QUICK BOYS ))(( YOU'VE GOT FIFTEEN MINUTES ---10). GAMATJIE IN DIE KAAP Our Coloured Corps'aan die brand'11). SOMETHING SENTIMENTAL John Hazelhurstitching to be Irish12). BINGE BOYS ON DABA WAY 109 Spike & Co. in ahotcha-gotcha go-aheadbang.13). ONS NASIE Boere Orkes14). FRIEDMAN SISTERS In fun and frolics(mostly ballics)15). MEMORY IN MY VOICE 'Loch Lomond''Lights of London''Somewhere up North'16). JAN CLAASEN EN SY GHITAR Kromdraai Klasie van dieKaap. P.T.O.17). WHAT A BOY Holly and hisSkwasch Bocks.18). LIGHTS OUT Give it a BANG boys.£+£+£+£+£+£+£+£+£+£ AND GOOD DRINK S H A L L +£+£+£+£+£+£+£+£+£+£@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@" F I N I S "COPY NO. 1. PUBLISHED WEEKLY OCTOBER 3, 1941Guardian Angel: Our O.C.Big Chief: The Adj.General Damager: Japie[Stamp: OH 21][Drawing: A key with "KEY TO VICTORY"]Verse Monger: MozackArt(ful) Editor: Gorblimey (TiCad)Spoof Reader: Van HarleyRegistered as a going concern (Editor completely gone) and an unlimitedliability in the Western Desert. Any reference to bums, alive or deadfrom the neck upwards must be purely and entirely complete coincidenceMOTOR TRIPS:TRAVEL IN COMFORT.Gabriel's Kairo KaravanReturn fare to anywherein Africa bar the Unionfor akkers 1 tikkie anda stick of chewing gum.--ooo-ooo--Personally driven bythe speediest speedsterthis side the Pacific,travel in BoneshakerBertha, the terror ofthe tarmac and arrivein record time (we hope)at Cairo. Service twiceweekly. Apply M.T. Tent.THE COMMITTEE OH. 21Capt. W.S. O'Brien2/Lt. M.J. JacksonS/M J. FriedmannA/M W. RobinsonA/M R.A. CainWhere not to look--ooo-ooo--Advts....... P. 1Cartoon...... P. 2.Editorial.... P. 2.Verse andVerse.... P. 3SquadronScandal.. P. 3Sport....... P. 4General...... P. 4.SALE! SALE! SALE!SHOP EARLY FOR XMASNow is the time to makeyour purchases of reducedrations at increasedprices. Queue up andtake your turn from theback.Civility and satisfact-ion is our motto -- noone kept waiting longerthan two hours.COHEN & FREEMAN(Under strict supervisionHazy Hazelhurst)ARE YOU WORRIED BY LIFESPROBLEMS?SEE "ONE-POUND" EDDIE WITHALL YOUR TROUBLES.Answers all questions at allhours of the day:PAYPOSThis specialities.Can be found, wearing a worriedlook, at mealtimesSergeant's MessMOTORCYCLING LESSONS:--THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO TRAVELTHESE DAYS -- DON'T TRUST FOURWHEEL DRIVES, CAMELS OR TRAINSTravel the Van Harley Way!Be taught how to ride themotorcycle by a man who reallyknows. Specialties includebarrel jumping, skiddingand sliding. Learn the GyppoJump from an expert.BE A MANAND LEARN FROM VANApply Ossifers MessCOLOSSAL WINTER SALE:HEAVY REDUCTIONS IN PRICESCome and Get 'em. Gas Masks at Give Away Prices. Please comeand collect them -- won't you?Gas masks and capes make you look handsome -- even your best girlwon't know you. Personal misfits a speciality. All talkingno action our motto. Sergeants particularly welcome.ZACKON & ASSEMBLED COMPANY (PTY) LTDAFTER THE [strike-through] BE [/strike-through] BLITZ[Drawing: Cartoon of an airman in a flight helmet and goggles looking out of the cockpit of a twin-engine aircraft, seemingly shocked or embarrassed.]"S-S-SH-SH-SHAME!"E D I T O R I A LEditorially we are embarking on a somewhat venturesome enter-prise. We feel that a community such as "Twenty-one" is, should havea "cultural(?)" background - to wit, a newspaper. And now, like theknights of old we are prepared to tilt a lance in a good cause and setthe old ball rolling.In judging the merits of this little paper, we ask for charityand patience, the first because we claim no heaven-lent gifts ofjournalism to guide us and the second because we feel that all goodmen and true will rally round and we expect in due course to see theeditorial table (we don't run to the luxury of a desk) groaning withliterary fare.With the co-operation of one and all in the squadron, we feelsure that this first number of our weekly newspaper will be the fore-runner of a bigger and better news-sheet.We make only one stipulation to intending contributors - lifeis sad enough, so give us humour and smiles "en hou maar die blink kantbo"Our motto is to doctor the blues by providing miles and milesof smiles, weekly if possible. The Jerries are darkening the skies(whenever our planes ain't about!), but we must "turn dem dark cloudsinside out, and find de silver lining".---ooo-ooo--- * PAGE 3 102GETTING VERSE AND VERSERUDENESS IN RHYME:The writer of this is no assThough he’s connected with gasHe now hopes to pleaseAll and sundry with theseWhich pickout irrespective of class.The first one to sufferIs certainly no dufferHe’s our O.C., of course I must addHe likes to do briefingHis split-arse at "thiefing"But at Bok-bok he’s simply a cad.His keenness is suchHe may work us so muchThere are times when we feel somewhat sad.In the thing of his ruggerIn the scrum he’s a b......When he twists others necks we feel glad.Apart from this, though Col. Jan you may leadAnd we’ll follow you blindly to do any deedWhether raiding the Huns or the dark Suez shopsOr applying avasive tactics to Cops.+ + + + + +The R.S.M.’s job is a hard one to pickIs capably filled by Augus BerwickHe likes to sleep lateSay till nearly past eightThen after nine gives the boys plenty of stick.+ + + + + +Gus is a boy whom the girls most admireThey know that he’s tough and just full of fireHe’s so handsome and tallThey say, as they fall,Oh! Sergeant Major, to what heights you aspire.He plays a nifty game of ruggerAnd boxing shows he aint no sluggerBut his forte is pokerHe’s never a croaker— SaveWhen beaten on fours he says B.....+ + + + + +But transport’s a problem that’s getting us beat,The responsible guy is "Glimlagger Piet"Van der Merwe’s his nameAnd say that he’s gameYou’ll not find his trucks broken down in the street.Now Piet is a lad you really should seeThough when you want transport he mostly says "Nee""If travel you mustThen walk in the dustFor all of my lorries are down by the sea."His job ho gets done — not a sigh not a tearHis smile gets much bigger as he knocks down a beerHe sure is no suckerVan der Merwe our truckerFor just like his trucks, he’s near out of gear.==============================================KOMPETITION KORNER. Conducted ByEy Hiram K. Fosselthwaite This week we start a series of weekly competitions. Our offices are situated on the corner of Troye St. and Shariah Kasr el Shutterbug. The precincts are sacred.
A Special Prize of ten sandbags (empty or full) has most graciously been donated by "Happy Snaps" and will be awarded to the first entrant who cannot answer the set questions. The competition is open to all except Officers, Sergeants and Cpl. Reid. This is an ignorance test and if you are willing to show you know Sweet Fanny Adams (barring Officers, Sgts. and Cpl. Reid) you may collect the prize. It’s in the bag — and now let’s go:—
* Who thinks that twin engines were born on the same day? * Why do gasmasks make us all look so handsome (including the instructor)? * Why are the Old Campaigners singing South of the Border? * Which pilot shakes his head so you can hear it rattle when he says "Never again"? * Is it true that Airgunners leave their parachutes behind? * Is it true that the "Hole in the wall" is an unpopular song with Buck Sheedy and his gang? * Are we nuts — AND HOW?All entries must be posted before the end of last week.---ooo-ooo---Page —4 103A SPORT OF SPORT:CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING MATCHCapacity Crowd Witnesses ThrillingFight to a Science The Brawl Room of the "Suez Club"
was crowded to capacity to witness theall-in (No holds barred) wrestlingmatch for the Kanine King ChampionshipThe defender was Bolshie ("The DabaDemon") and his challenger Ampie (The"Bagush Brute". The refereeing wasin the hands (and feet) of Chimp theDope. ROUND ONE
The first round started in ortho-
dox fashion with Ampie making a jungleapproach through the chair legs. Hisinitial jawhold, was ably countered bya double earclip on the part of theChamp. Both the contestants were thenprepared to take the whole affairlying down, when the Chimp came tothe rescue and by making a flying-trapeze leap landed amidships onAmpie and put an end to the firstround. (Prolonged applause) ROUND TWO
The gloves were now really off.
The demon told the Broot — in nouncertain terms — that his mannersneeded mending. The Broot replied"Nerts" and Bolshie, stung to attack,completed a flying daka leap and at-tempted to end hostilities by apply-ing a scissors-headlock. Once againthe champ could not be caught nappingand the match developed into a realdyed in the wool fight (bits) to thedeath. The Chimp in trying histactics of round one was severaltimes hurled through the furnitureand finally he retired from thestage to slake his thirst. FINAL ROUND (WE HOPE)
Lights out found the valiant
pair in a do-or-die huddle and Busterput an end to their little argumentby casting them into the exteriordarkness, where, judging by the weeping and gnashing of teeth the gamewas still on.DIE BASEBALL WEDSTRYD. Ag, my goodness but ek het jus'
seen a merry funny game. Ek was sit-ting in my tent working when ek hoarsa helluva noise what disturbs mysleep. Ek somarso runs outside totell the Gippies to Voetsak when Isees its somar a lot of our ownpeoples corrugating in a klomp.There was officers en die gonnersen ek sees Stan looking like an Alli-gator — ach nee, a Gladiator, withhis topboots en' all.En someone, somar picks up aball en trows it at poor Stan.But a gonner, ek dink dit was Spiksomar jumps up mit a big stek enhy probeer die bal keer. He makesa big hit mit his stok but hy slapmis en he hits his foot. En Sgt.Issy somarso rubs his hands en saps"Aha, another patient".Maar dan begin die spel really,die gonner drops sy stok en everyoneruns in a ewige sirkel. En everyoneruns en shouts en die stof waaien everyone jus' spring in die rosde asof hulle probeer mekaar vang. Even the officers skreeu en
shout en gaan te kere en ek wordjus' blerry excited though I don'tknowling what its all about.Ek vra vir Lofty what all thetrouble is about en he says "Disbaseball"Toe verstaan ek. If the korrektname isn't basebrawl then its somara bawl match. En when the tumulten the shouting was dead, ek vraweer vir Lofty wie gewen het en hyse he doesn't know. So it mustsomar be an Irish game mitout rulesan' both sides het somar gewen. Ag, maar ek het dit baie geniet.
THE SPINX SMILES INSCRUTABLY ON:Stan H--n--murray for his hardwon andmost deserving D.F.C.Major Britz and his gallant crewputting the squadron on the warpathwith a brace of Hun scalps.Buck Sheedy and his gang of willingworkers for most nobly upholdingthe name and fame of 21.Duple for being very "hardegat"Piet Lancaster for his "briefing"of the Airgunners on the recentraid by night on Alex.A little bit of Scotch that wentdown well with the lost G.O. (Degun was gorn)Chick, Mac and Crews for theirHappy SnapsV. B. for blazing a path throughAfrica with petrol tinsSQUADRON TWENTYONE FOR PUTTING THE"L" IN BLITZ Printed and published as required by Jannie Moritz, "The Duplicating Demon" and his Desert Printers.Page —4 103A SPORT OF SPORT:CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING MATCHCapacity Crowd Witnesses ThrillingFight to a Science The Brawl Room of the "Suez Club"
was crowded to capacity to witness theall-in (No holds barred) wrestlingmatch for the Kanine King ChampionshipThe defender was Bolshie ("The DabaDemon") and his challenger Ampie (The"Bagush Brute". The refereeing wasin the hands (and feet) of Chimp theDope. ROUND ONE
The first round started in ortho-
dox fashion with Ampie making a jungleapproach through the chair legs. Hisinitial jawhold, was ably countered bya double earclip on the part of theChamp. Both the contestants were thenprepared to take the whole affairlying down, when the Chimp came tothe rescue and by making a flying-trapeze leap landed amidships onAmpie and put an end to the firstround. (Prolonged applause) ROUND TWO
The gloves were now really off.
The demon told the Broot — in nouncertain terms — that his mannersneeded mending. The Broot replied"Nerts" and Bolshie, stung to attack,completed a flying daka leap and at-tempted to end hostilities by apply-ing a scissors-headlock. Once againthe champ could not be caught nappingand the match developed into a realdyed in the wool fight (bits) to thedeath. The Chimp in trying histactics of round one was severaltimes hurled through the furnitureand finally he retired from thestage to slake his thirst. FINAL ROUND (WE HOPE)
Lights out found the valiant
pair in a do-or-die huddle and Busterput an end to their little argumentby casting them into the exteriordarkness, where, judging by the weeping and gnashing of teeth the gamewas still on.DIE BASEBALL WEDSTRYD. Ag, my goodness but ek het jus'
seen a merry funny game. Ek was sit-ting in my tent working when ek hoarsa helluva noise what disturbs mysleep. Ek somarso runs outside totell the Gippies to Voetsak when Isees its somar a lot of our ownpeoples corrugating in a klomp.There was officers en die gonnersen ek sees Stan looking like an Alli-gator — ach nee, a Gladiator, withhis topboots en' all.En someone, somar picks up aball en trows it at poor Stan.But a gonner, ek dink dit was Spiksomar jumps up mit a big stek enhy probeer die bal keer. He makesa big hit mit his stok but hy slapmis en he hits his foot. En Sgt.Issy somarso rubs his hands en saps"Aha, another patient".Maar dan begin die spel really,die gonner drops sy stok en everyoneruns in a ewige sirkel. En everyoneruns en shouts en die stof waaien everyone jus' spring in die rosde asof hulle probeer mekaar vang. Even the officers skreeu en
shout en gaan te kere en ek wordjus' blerry excited though I don'tknowling what its all about.Ek vra vir Lofty what all thetrouble is about en he says "Disbaseball"Toe verstaan ek. If the korrektname isn't basebrawl then its somara bawl match. En when the tumulten the shouting was dead, ek vraweer vir Lofty wie gewen het en hyse he doesn't know. So it mustsomar be an Irish game mitout rulesan' both sides het somar gewen. Ag, maar ek het dit baie geniet.
THE SPINX SMILES INSCRUTABLY ON:Stan H--n--murray for his hardwon andmost deserving D.F.C.Major Britz and his gallant crewputting the squadron on the warpathwith a brace of Hun scalps.Buck Sheedy and his gang of willingworkers for most nobly upholdingthe name and fame of 21.Duple for being very "hardegat"Piet Lancaster for his "briefing"of the Airgunners on the recentraid by night on Alex.A little bit of Scotch that wentdown well with the lost G.O. (Degun was gorn)Chick, Mac and Crews for theirHappy SnapsV. B. for blazing a path throughAfrica with petrol tinsSQUADRON TWENTYONE FOR PUTTING THE"L" IN BLITZ Printed and published as required by Jannie Moritz, "The Duplicating Demon" and his Desert Printers.Page —4 103A SPORT OF SPORT:CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING MATCHCapacity Crowd Witnesses ThrillingFight to a Science The Brawl Room of the "Suez Club"
was crowded to capacity to witness theall-in (No holds barred) wrestlingmatch for the Kanine King ChampionshipThe defender was Bolshie ("The DabaDemon") and his challenger Ampie (The"Bagush Brute". The refereeing wasin the hands (and feet) of Chimp theDopo. ROUND ONE
The first round started in ortho-
dox fashion with Ampie making a jungleapproach through the chair legs. Hisinitial jawhold, was ably countered bya double earclip on the part of theChamp. Both the contestants were thenprepared to take the whole affairlying down, when the Chimp came tothe rescue and by making a flying-trapeze leap landed amidships onAmpie and put an end to the firstround. (Prolonged applause) ROUND TWO
The gloves were now really off.
The demon told the Broot — in nouncertain terms — that his mannersneeded mending. The Broot replied"Nerts" and Bolshie, stung to attack,completed a flying leap and at-tempted to end hostilities by apply-ing a scissors-headlock. Once againthe champ could not be caught nappingand the match developed into a realdyed in the wool fight (bits) to thedeath. The Chimp in trying histactics of round one was severaltimos hurled through the furnitureand finally he retired from thestage to slake his thirst. FINAL ROUND (WE HOPE)
Lights out found the valiant
pair in a do-or-die huddle and Busterput an end to their little argumentby casting them into the exteriordarkness, where, judging by the weep-ing and gnashing of teeth the gamewas still on. DIE BASEBAWL WEDSTRYD.
Ag, my goodness but ek het jus'
seen a merry funny game. Ek was sit-ting in my tent working when ek hearsa helluva noise what disturbs mysleep. Ek somarso runs outside totell the Gippies to Voetsak when Isees its somar a lot of our ownpeoples corrugating in a klomp.There was officers en die gonnersen ek sees Stan looking like an Alli-gator — ach nee, a Gladiator, withhis topboots en' all.En someone, somar picks up aball en trows it at poor Stan.But a gonner, ek dink dit was Spiksomar jumps up mit a big stek enhy probeer die bal keer. He makesa big hit mit his stok but hy slapmis en he hits his foot. En Sgt.Issy somarso rubs his hands en says"Aha, another patient".Maar dan begin die spel really,die gonner drops sy stok en everyoneruns in a eyige sirkel. En everyoneruns en shouts en die stof waaien everyone jus' spring in die rosde asof hulle probeer mekaar vang. Even the officers skreeu en
shout en gaan te kere en ek wordjus' blerry excited though I don'tknowling what its all about.Ek vra vir Lofty what all thetrouble is about en he says "Disbaseball"The verstaan ek. If the korrektname isn't basebrawl then its somara bawl match. En when the tumulten the shouting was dead, ek vraweer vir Lofty wie gewen het en hyse he doesn't know. So it mustsomar be an Irish game mitout rulesan' both sides het somar gewen. Ag, maar ek het dit baie geniet.
THE SPINX SMILES INSCRUTABLY ON:Stan H—n—murray for his hardwon andmost deserving D.F.C.Major Britz and his gallant crewputting the squadron on the warpathwith a brace of Hun scalps.Buck Sheedy and his gang of willingworkers for most nobly upholdingthe name and fame of 21.Duple for being very "hardegat"Piet Lancaster for his "briefing"of the Airgunners on the recentraid by night on Alex.A little bit of Scotch that wentdown well with the lost G.O. (Degun vas gorn)Chick, Mac and Crews for theirHappy SnapsV. B. for blazing a path throughAfrica with petrol tinsSQUADRON TWENTYONE FOR PUTTING THE"L" IN BLITZ Printed and published as required by Jannie Moritz, "The Duplicating Demon" and his Desert Printers.103COPY NO. 2. PUBLISHED WEEKLY OCTOBER 12, 1941Guardian Angel:Our O.C.Big Chief:The Adj.General Damager:JapieOH NO 21[Stamp: OK 21 KEY TO VICTORY]Verse Monger:MozackArt(ful) Editor:Gorblimey (Ti Cad)Spoof Reader:Van HarleyRegistered as a going concern (Editor completely gone) and an unlimitedliability in the Western Desert. Any reference to bums, alive or deadfrom the neck upwards must be purely and entirely complete coincidence.YOUR HEALTH!CONSIDER IT!Are you feeling up to themark? Do you see spots infront of your eyes? Do youpink elephants follow you infrom the canteen atnight? Now is the time to consideryour health.A complete rest cure is guaranteedand your improvement physically andif possible) mentally, "Unionitis"is our speciality. Call when-ever youwish and see our attendant on dayand night duty. Eliasov bed for youany time you want.Note the address:"BEDSIDE MANOR", No. 9 Downing Hill,Western Desert. Phone: Cut Off.P.O. Box: Pinched. Under personalsupervision of "Dok" Dorrian and hismerry staff.THE COMMITTEE OH 21Capt. W.S. O'Brien2/Lt. M.J. ZackonS/M J. FriedmannA/M W. RobinsonA/M R.A. CainULTIMATE WORK FOR ART!Come and visit "Jayjay's" ArtGallery: Open all day and mostthe night.Admission charges now at reducedprices. Chairs and tables providedfor your comfort while you studythe works of art about you.Special Notice: At a considerablecost we have secured the services ofthat master artist - Frankie White.Roll up! Further contributionsalways acceptable.Sergeants' Den.ALWAYS ON TIME!SPIKE'S BUS SERVICE.Travel on the "Gunner'sSpecial" - every liver-shake a joy. Why ride incomfort when Spike 109and his gang of daredevil desertdrivers are at your disposal.Note our Time-TableSgts. Mess Canteen (dep) 0859½ hrs."A" Flight Tent (arr) 0900 hrs."B" Flight Tent (arr) 0901 hrs.Sgts. Mess Canteen (returnfor the day)........0901½ hrs.This bus service besides otherthings is responsible for thedashing drive of the "Standby Special"also for the "BATHING BEAUTIESBOUNCING BUGGIE""Always on time, and ready to do it"is our motto. In fact all ourdrivers are well-trained motto-carexperts (AW NERTS!)DAY AND NIGHT SERVICE PROVIDEDFor further particulars (if you wantany) apply Sgts. MessWE'LL PUT YOU ON THE RIGHT ROADLEAVE YOUR TROUBLES TO US -WE WONT WORRY ABOUT THEM EITHER!Do you need a garden path to be ledup? Do you find your road toostraight and narrow? Come and consultour experts in roadmaking.For expert opinion on our workask any of the local dispatchriders. Here is one Don R's com-ment on a road we recently completed"Your roads are +%!@£ (& %xzo "TAYLOR BROWN AND WILLING COMPANY(Assisted by his gang of desertdoughnuts)FRIEDMANN, FRIEDMAN & FRIEDMANN (PTY) LTD.(Our one partner is always in the middle)Company Promoters. Stage and Show experts. Always in on the groundfloor. Consult us in all matters - for "We're jolly good company"(Advt - You're telling me)OS-2- 104 [handwritten]<u>T H E M I R A C L E</u>[Illustration: A three-panel style cartoon. On the left, a figure hunched over a desk under a lamp titled "POUND LIMIT!". In the center, a standing figure appears to be yelling at another. Handwritten text within the cartoon area: "STAMPS", "400!", "WHAT WOULD LIFE BE WITHOUT A FOO?". Caption below the drawing: "THE GUNNER WHO WASN'T OVER-DRAWN!". Artist signature: FRANK W-.]E D I T O R I A LLike Metro-Goldwyn Meyer, we take pleasure in presenting our second issue of "OH! 21". Our sincere hope is that this pleasure is shared by our reading public. For our shortcomings and failings we again seek your patience and charity and for your support we thank you.For we are beginning to find our feet a little, now, thanks to the support we are receiving in the way of contributions. But there is still room on the editorial table of "OH! 21" for more. May we once more appeal to those of you who continue to hide your talents not to be backward in coming forward, so to speak.We are hoping to increase the size of this little anti-dote to the blues but we are pleased to say that OH! 21 has come to stay and will be maintained as a feature of our activities in the Western Desert. (Of course, H.P.- Hitler Permitting)Meanwhile help us to keep the old smiles going - it all helps to bring the V V Vant so much nearer!Printed and Published at the Central Registry Printing Works (Proprietor Jannie Moritz)S P E C I A L A N N O U N C E M E N TIn the course of excavations herer [sic], an ancient document, inscribed with strange hieroglyphics on its papyrous surface, was found, carefully sealed in a sardine tin. This document has been handed over to our cypher section and they are at present busy decoding this most valuable, ancient contribution to world history.When our cyphers have succeeded in obtaining all the repeats they have asked for from Headquarters, this document will be ready for publication and we hope to be able to publish extracts weekly in our forthcoming issues - watch for it.<u>THE SPHINX SMILES INSCRUTABLY ON:</u>Major Mike and his swiftmoving gang for exceeding the speed limit. * * * * Major Britz in taking the lead in the Union Dash Handicap * * * * Our Def. Off. for his rapid identification of a "Stuka" * * * * "Lofty" for his "crowning" success.IT'S EVEN VERSE THIS WEEK +++ MORE RUDENESS IN RHYME +++ "MOZACK"My pickout this week is really nosoftyHe's known to us all by his pet nameof "Lofty"He's Irish — no jokin'The Shamrock's his tokenAs Major right now his crown he'dbe cadgeSix foot four and red hair — yessure that's our "Adj".He's a sportsman of note with a fineflair for cricketThough he seldom will bat on onesticky wicketAt rugger he shines — he's off justlike stinkAt swimming he's better — a surestone in the sinkAt the slightest pretext he burstsinto songJust to show he don't care whenlife goes all wrongHe rules o'er his staffWith a good deal of chaffRemaining quite cheerful on workthat's far flungHe's happiest singing "One day —we were young"When he is around, there's seldommuch sighin'We're all very pleased with ourMajor O'Brien. * * * * * * Papers, papers everywhereNot a single inch to spareOn the desk and on the floorOn the benches plenty moreFrom behind this awful messI'm sure you all can guessWhere he sits with tousled hairLooking round him in despairHow's he hasn't time to thinkOn his papers spills the inkPause a while and take some heed, manYes, you're right it's S/M Friedmann.Out of office you will findIn tent he sleeps in well designedTo hold the rubbish that he keepsAnd it soothes him when he sleepsTo see about him scattered aroundHis clothing lying on the ground.He dresses smartly, so it seems,Even in his wildest dreamsA great hat or helmet is the rageJust as Japie on the stageShorts, moustache all brown andblackNot Major Friedmann — no, just ourJack!There's a little fat bloke witha big appetiteWho's all set for poker rightthrough the nightHe's rotund and smallBut outbluffs them allAnd at swinging the lead he'salso alright.As small as he is, he's as gameas the nextPrepared to pull finger on anypretextA son-of-a-gunIs our Tommy DunnThere's nowt in the Armoury thatgets him perplexedHe's not quite as bad as I'vestatedIn fact, he's a popular sportE'en though his hunger's ne'ersatedHe's a big-hearted fellow, tho'short.==============================KOMPETITION KORNERAgain (sad to say) Conducted byKiram K FosselthwaiteWell, well, gentlemen (excludingOfficers, Sergeants and Cpl. Reid)here we are, even if we are not allthere. Last week's competition wasan outstanding success. As a matterof fact our entrants had to queueup down Shariah el Shutterbug wayand we had great difficulty gettingboth of them into line. The finaldecision and the prize went to noneother than "Semper Soprani — thesinging storeman" Below are his ans-wers. * Musselhitler Boonapart. * Because they're exzackonly like I told you * Because they're all entrants in the Union Handicap * Reid the question again please. * You said a mouthful. * Holey Smoke! * No, crackers. (Gertcher)Now for this weeks competition.The prize has been most graciouslydonated by Messrs. Becker, Van Nieck,and Moyce (PTY) Ltd., 165, ShariahKasr El Cookshop. A five course din-ner consisting of Soup — Rice, HorsD'oeuvres — Puffed Rice, Entree—Rice with meat, Poultry with Riceand Sweets — Rice Pudding will begiven to the person correctly answer-ing these questions (space permitting) * Who said "No more, no more"? * Why does the S/Major bring you coffee in the morning? * What did a certain pilot visitor say when his kite lay down to rest? * What did the A.O.C?HEADQUARTER HEADLINES : Headquarters, this is your COPY NO. 1corner : Kinders dit is Lou sakste (Incidental music by Holly White) Guardian Angel:(From OH. 21's Special Co-respondent) Our O.C.Topicalitics from H.Q. Twenty-One Big Chief:Parktown W.D., Oct. 5, 1941 The Adj.General Damager:JapieBuck Sheedy's gang wish to expressour thanks to him and to ChristmasCarroll for their strenuous efforts registered as aon our behalf in arranging our new ability in theMess and "Funkhole". It is the best from the neckand least exclusive joint in the W.D.See the troops dash to the Funkhole DER NEWwhen the Beer Raid warning sounds! MENTWhen the short gong goes, everyone Come and visitdoubles to the kitchen for his rat- lucky time openions in case he should miss any of or en night.the marvelous concoction prepared ways ready tofor our delectation by Poo-Blake ppy greetingsSeptember. The grub's worth running k to all intfor, believe me and we invite you to old wire -come and watch us at feeding time any time youany day, when we will permit you to (Old Pointbuy us as much beer as we can drink. at help toknow if we haA/M A.V. Daniel has been called to self to thethe Bar, and he ably conducts thecase (of beer) whenever the Court acceptingis in session. Underinal PrintiSgt. H. Bishop is Secretary and to -- be rTreasurer and is keenly watched bymembers of the Committee and all RKS, SPIKE’other members of the Mess. Rumour m Ross and hhas it that Sgt. Bishop was once upon a Westerntime secretary of a Slate Club beforehe ran away to join the S.A.A.F. whenhe immediately applied for a foreign Posse ofposting. We all hope it is only a have no morumour. e on hand+++++ stimony.WE WONDER: Clear and * Who got the better of Holly and Tea. Ready H.Q. "A" Flight by pinching, or perhaps "organizing" a bed? * Was it a spark - R.A.F. or C O M M "A" Flight. * Watt goes on in our kitchen? * Whose signature tune is "Two OU GET OU lovely black eyes"? DO YOU FI * Where the flies go in the winter LOOKIN time and why the hell they don't stop wor go there. thing we * Why "Tizzy" and "Danny" walked DUFFUS CO all the way to Parktown, in a S. EVERY sandstorm, from Vrededorp at INVENTION noon, when the Airmen's Mess was T COURSE only a few hundred yards away? her Partic * Who "harasses" the Sparks? * Who harasses Harries? * When will the Bishop and the Dean hold the first service? CHESS PROBLEM: If the Bishop beats the King to the Queen, what happens at Knight? ANSWER: The King Pawns the Castle.SPORT SPORT SPORT SPORT(and in case you don'tbelieve it, sport.)WRESTLING:Aapie vs. Bolshie (See last week...continuing on the samelines!)+++++DIE CRIKEY METCH - By JapieThe other afternoon when ek isfarce awake in my tent, someonejus' cums en grabs me by the shoulderen se ek moet kom speel in diecrikey metch.Well, ek doesn't knowing muchabout crikey but they says ek moetkom help vir die Serjinks om dieOssifers op te neuk en so ek goesalong. Dey says we will battle at help to dfirst but ek don't unnerstan'a dam. So they tells me ek moetjust do what the Serjinks do eneverything will be all right.Da use ossifer he takes a b... inal Pball en he trows it at arme ouEddie. Maar Eddie hy is bang enhy loop weg eenkant toe. But Mar...sea he somarso going to wipe diedaylights out of the gebouler r...en he doesn't know in which Ross and hen going. En every time a Serjinkcomes back ou Leheky makes a r...noise en everybody seems to be enjoying himself but what about ekdon't knows. Then they says itsmy turn en everyone shakes me by have no morthe hand en says its wicket time e on hand fgout to die so young, now that theossifers has brought the demon stimony.bowler Kleinelliot for to boul atCapt. Venn has doctored the wicke...So they gifs me a bits of aen die bal te keer en up cums debowler en right away my pens te...as I won't have a Long-innes at aEk maak my oe toe, en ek slat diebal right over Headquarters Flig...Ek was so gelink, maar someone s...a mistake because dere's one bigmess where all the wood sticks OU GET OUmind me was gewees (en ek doesn't DO YOU FImean die Sacketeomp). They says LOOKINI gotta duck but Sgt. Dave what stop worour scorescratcher tells me ek thing wenutting, which is a little more DUFFUS COMr. Berwick. S. EVERYINVENTIONThen the Ossifers goes in to T COURSEbattle maar it was somarso easy her Particdie Sgts. They won without any(Phuph) fuss.105COPY NO. 3. PUBLISHED WEEKLY OCTOBER 19, 1941Guardian Angel:Our O. C.Big Chief:The Adj.General Damager:JapieOH! 21[Stamp: OK 21 KEY TO VICTORY]Verse Monger:MozackArt(ful) Editor:Gorblimey (Ti Cad)Spoof Reader:Van HarleyRegistered as a going concern (Editor completely gone) and an unlimitedliability in the Western Desert. Any reference to bums, alive or deadfrom the neck upwards must be purely and entirely complete coincidence.UNDER NEW (MIS)MANAGE-MENT !Come and see us atany time of the day ornight!Always ready to say ourppy greeting of Voet-k to all customers. Large rangeold wireless spares availableon any time. Come and help your-f (Old proverb: God helps thoset help themselves, so GOA helpou if we catch you helping your-self to anything in our show.)accepting Xmas Messages for theUnion.inal Prices for Everyone is ourto -- but we never stick to it.MARKS, SPLUTTER, DOTTENDASH & CO.t (what a joint!) new proprietorsRoss and Jock Earnshaw)THE COMMITTEE OH 21Major W. S. O'Brien2/Lt. M. J. ZackonS/M J. FriedmannA/M W. RobinsonA/M R. A. CainCENTRAL REGISTRY SUPPLYSTORESAre you short of pens,pencils, rubbers, ink,glue, labels, envelopes,string, etc., etc.We have a particularly fine rangeof etc. etc. and your attentionis invited.Come and visit our spacious pre-mises.All forms of triping and spoof-licating undertaken at short noticeby our experts. Wishing you allmany returns of the day.HEARD, MARITZ, STAINERENJOHNSON& COMPANY (alias DOPEY)"Ye Olde Firm" -- Our Customersare always SOKKE (censored)WESTERN DESERT HARDWARE SHOPPossessing the finest range of hardware this side of the specificave no hesitation in offering to our willing public the stocks wee on hand at rockbottom ("Dupie") prices.SALE ! SALE ! SALE !Clearing our winter stocks of tyres, tubing, hessian, batteriesc. Read this extract from the "Egyptian Gazette" bearing eloquentstimony to the quality and workmanship of our batteries."This store employs several experts in batteryand assault work. . . . . . ."CARROLL & COMPANY (PROP) LTD, OM DIE HOFKIEWESTERN DESERT.YOU GET LOST AT NIGHT?DO YOU FIND DIFFICULTY INLOCATING YOUR HOME?stop worrying -- we have thething for you.DUFFUS DIRECTION-FINDER NEVERS. EVEN AT MEALTIMES THIS WON-INVENTION WILL KEEP YOU ON THET COURSE!her Particulars: Off. Mess.ARE YOU EXPERIENCING DIFFICULTYWITH YOUR FRENCH?There is only one way to learn.Come to our Underground Schooland study in comfort. You maylownds around all day while ab-sorbing these most interestinglessons.Prof. Jacques Bester, ex-Pretoria,conducts lessons at any time of theday.-2-SENSATIONAL AND HISTORIC FIND BROUGHT INTO PUBLIC LIGHT FOR FIRST TIME ! * * * * * * OH.21 (AS ALWAYS) FIRST WITH THE NEWS * * * * * * Valuable document now Translated.Indiewoestyn, Oct 19In the course of his excavatoryactivities, our Offence Officer dig-ging a slit trench with his usual en--ergy and assisted to the best oftheir disability by his trusty hench-men Piet Onnosel and Jan Stokkiesdraaicame across an unusual sight. At thefoot of a twentyfoot deep trench theOffence Officer spied heap upon heapof stone tablets (slightly biggerthan the Aspro size, my friends).Quick as ever at identifying strangeobjects the Offence Officer recognisedthese as relics of a bygone age. Theywere covered with strange hieroglyph-ics and our Siphon section immediate-ly set to work transforming theseunusual characters into English asshe is spoke. The result is givenbelow:THE KRONNIKELS OF TWENTYWUNBy the Scribe : Novus ben Homo.And then it came to pass that theHigh Priest of SAFRIC, SilmyannihSmuts, did call on his people to cumforth that there may be driven fromthe land of Afric the followers ofthe foul fiends HEATLEER and MUSCLE-ONLY, champions of the black doctrineof NASTYISM and FARCISMO.And from all the assembled mult-itude did the High Priest Slimyannihin all his wisdom, anoint JAN benPRETORI-US, as the chosen leader ofTWENTYWUN whose history I now write.And Jan ben Pretori-us did becomethe Kernel Oh See of Twenty Wun andhe did lead his people from the landof sasatie, tamatie and mosbolletjieto the once fair land of the PharaohsAnd unto the Kornel Oh See wasgranted great powers for was he nota king among his people, a Danielamong the lions? For though the war-riors of Twenty Wun did indulge inmany strange rites, unto the KornelOh See alone was permitted the riteof "Shootinguppordromo". He alonecould practice this rite of "Shoot-inguppordromo" without being throwninto the foul dungeon of Klosereed.And it came to pass that thewarriors of Twenty Wun did sweep fromtheir path over a period of some moonsthe foes they called Ohitceyou, Gyppo-tummi, Rafmossaccount and the over-troublesome Bakkshooshi — nay mychildren, not he whom they do callBakk Sheedhi.And so having put to flight thoseonories, the warriors of 21 did girdtheir loins and by CON VOI did theycome to the HELLUVA PLACE in thewilderness. Nevertheless they didsmile strangely and gird their loinsfor they were in readiness to givebattle to the followers of Heatleerand his pet Jackal Muscle-Only.And these warriors did fight inwonderful chariots of the sky,drawn by two fierce steeds fromthe stable of Bakk Sheedhi. Itwas this same Bakk Sheedhi who wasthe leader of the tribe of Mok-An-Iki whose care and kindness to thepowerful steeds was such that agreat warrior among the Ahr Ay Effin whose land the people of Twent-Wun did now sojourn, arose. Andthis warrior, the Ay Oh See aroseand spoke. And he said "Oh BakkSheedhi and your Mok-An-Iki youhave tended with great care andloving kindness the steeds andthis has indeed given me greatpleasure." Thus spake the Ay - Oh-See, and he, my people was a wiseman among the Ahr Ay Eff.And the noise of these fiercesteeds was such that it was likeunto the humming and buzzing ofone thousand and yet another thousandtwin wasps.And so far and so fast did thesechariots travel through the skiesthat the hawks and the eagles fledto the nests to hide their heads inshame for no longer were they mast-ers of the air. For were not thewarriors of TWENTY WUN masters ofthe air. Yeah verily, it wasTwenty Wun who are lords of the air.Selah!NO 'ARM IN ENQUIRING:We received the following lamentover the phone from an armourer:"We have a Klein complaint to makeabout fishin' in the Med. with per-fectly good bombs which, thoughschneider here nor dere, is simplynot dunn. In fact it made us quiteGreen to see the shadow of our planereturning and cumming in to landwithout their eggs which as anyclarke can tell you are smitsdorfedelectrically. Whether this is dueto Grose oversight or not, no Fox-deed could be dunn to let a pilotfish in the Auld Med. wylie returningfrom a Reid ..." At this point theshot wyllie spoke. Verey nice work."SAVING UP FOR A RAINY DAY!" ![Illustration: A caricature of a man in a desert uniform and hat, holding a large umbrella over himself while a woman looks on. Below the drawing, handwritten text: "THE ONLY MAN WHO DIDN'T WANT TO GO BACK TO THE UNION!". Artist signature: R.A. Cain.]E D I T O R I A LTo-day, with our third edition off the hot presses of our willing co-workers in crime, we can turn our attention to topical events without the customary appeal for more and more copy. OH 21 appears to have settled down to its place in the squadron activities, and there we trust we may leave it.Now, as the official organ of public opinion in Squadron Twentyone - a mantle we assume all too readily - we suggest a little more of the get-together-spirit in after working hours in this show of ours. Concerts and community singing are all very well in their way in providing the lighter forms we seek in the way of entertainment but how about some sport at getting to know those in our midst. We are sure there are many among us whose civil life experiences and experiences in the present war (we do not refer to adventures in Alex. or Conquests in Cairo) would provide us with an interesting diversion of nights and give us glimpses of one anothers lives which would normally not be granted us. However, this is but a suggestion to brighten the hours and help speed them on their way - how about some suggestions from our readers? Anything to stop those who have no sense of direction getting lost at night!!<u>THE SPHINX SMILES INSCRUTABLY ON:</u>Our O.C. for his complete disregard for obstacles in chasing off unwelcome aerial visitors at night. * * * * Dick Hosford for his fine effort at "groundstrafing" a Blenheim with a Chevrolet. * * * * A certain Sergeant Major for his disappearing rope trick. * * * * Lieut. Inman Bamber for running Major Britz a close second in the Union Stakes.-- 4 --LIKE EVERYONE AT THIS TIME OF THE OUR SPORTING COLUMNMONTH OUR POET IS SHORT: Wrestling:As per last week (and the weekTHIS HALF IS HIS SECTION before). We must add that a new hookTO MAKE HIS REFLECTION has now been introduced into thisall in wrestling serial bout. ScruffyAND THE REST OF THE BLEEDING PAGE the Scrounger has now appeared andIS BEING RESERVED FOR SPORT. (With frequently takes part. When ourdue apologies to Shakespeare for reporter has succeeded in sorting outcribbing our style) the contestants we may be able to letyou have a report.The O.C. of "A" Flight is Major MikeA pilot of skill whom all of us like Racing:He's never so happy as when leadinghis flight There was a grave disappointmentAway over Hun-land, far out of sight for the many keen racing fans whenthey turned out in their thousandsWe all know, of course, he's fine in fine bracing winter weather toand efficient watch the opening of the season atBut here's where I shew at the point the Sergeant's Mess when the Gallonhe's deficient. away stakes were down for decision.For example take bridge, just lookat his hand Trained to the minute Peter Blyth'sThe cards all reveal, his call's a gallant string of two-year-olds whoslam, grand had been fed on a special diet ofBut that is the moment his heart wild oats looked in grand trim assimply fails they entered the paddock, for a pre-At losing his hand Major Mike simply liminary canter past JayJay's silverquails ring where the betting was very brisk.In a voice filled with terror hesays to his pard, At this juncture came the sad"Beggar the slam, making game's not news of the fact that Van Richthofen'sso hard." famous string would not be able totake part and that the Ace himselfQuiet and friendly, with manners quite would be unable to take part, butgrand that two representatives of theYou'd say hed hurt no-one, except Officers Mess stable had gallantlyHitler's band. decided to throw their all in againstBut at bok-bok I tell you, a villain the decidedly better carrying capacitysublime of Blyth's Bounding Bloodstock.He kicks and he digs wheneer'er hecan climb. There was a slight reawakeningAt Shandur he showed his art to a T of betting when the Officers MessWhen he helped to defeat poor 223 representatives cantered into theHe leaped through the air, 250 ring but their preliminary showingdegrees quickly caused a veering to theThen dug with his toes and rubbed Sergeant's Side. The meeting provedwith his knees virtually a walkover for the moreTill the R.A.F. chappies, though some experienced string of the Airgunners.were quite tough Fancy but tribute is paid to theShouted please Major Mike, we've all fine and sustained effort put up byhad enough. the Officers, in their effort toAnd so twenty one scored a great lead the sergeants up the Gardenvictor-ee path.And Major Mike Said; "The drinks areon Me!" The exclusive photo publishedbelow shows the winning stringHe drives at a speed, which leaves returning home that night'oops out of sightHe's flying too low, they say, as they [Caricature of a line of men walking/staggering]writeHe steps on the gas, as he speedsto his hive _______________________________________Almost as fast as a Glen in a dive Printed and Published at the CentralWell Major Mike, your faults stand Registry Printing Worksrevealed (Jannie Moritz and his DooplicatingBut seriously speaking you're grand Devils )in the field. ++++++And so we salute you, with you we willgoO'er enemy's lands, whatever the show![Right Margin Overlap from Masthead]COPY NO.GuardianOur O. CBig ChieThe AdjGeneralJapieisterede) andm the nARRIVWESTe you tather yur bottsuit?at to tys? Coly operoiderplete hcustspeciaock - jis poYE OLDEprietoSTUPECallYoCloudTwentte: AllDER NEWNDUCTEDGUESer persBerwmodatproviden on usaddresSargeCOPY NO. 4 PUBLISHED WEEKLY OCTOBER 26, 1941Guardian Angel OH! 21 Verse Monger:Our O. C. MozackBig Chief Art(ful) Editor:The Adj. Gorblimey (Ti Cad)General Damager Spoof Reader:Japie [Stamp: OK 21 KEY TO VICTORY] Van HarleyRegistered in the Western Desert as a going concern (Editor completelygone) and an unlimited liability. Any reference to bums, alive or deadfrom the neck upwards is purely and entirely a complete coincidence.JUST ARRIVED IN THE THE COMMITTEE OH 21 DON'T WORRY! DON'T PUSH!WESTERN DESERT! Major W. S. O'Brien WHATEVER YOU'RE THINKING2/Lt. M. J. Zackon OF DOING, DON'T.Are you troubled about 2/Lt. E. Newman Leave it all to us. Weweather you should wear S/M J. Friedmann don't do anything either.your battledress or birth- A/M Robinson If your transport breaksday suit? Do you know A/M R. A. Cain down come and consult uswhat to talk about these ----------------------days? Come and consult us in our PIET JOKER & COMPANYnewly opened premises. Beautifully (Breakdown Specialists)embroidered Met. reports available All our staff are fully qualified.complete with free balloon for every They are all broken down.fresh customer. Moderate headwinds Day and night service availablea speciality. Don't trouble to except at nights. N. B. Don't dis-knock - just breeze in; our visibil- turb us in the day-time either.ity is poor so we wont take any not- Cash customers only - we have noice. truck with credit sales.YE OLDE MET. SECTION Oordiebalt, Branches at H. Q. Camp and elsewhere.Western Desert. Phone No.: 17 x 103.Proprietors: Swindler and Co., Ltd. P. O. Box - Still being built.STUPENDOUS! COLOSSAL! TERRIFIC! COMPLETELY MEDIOCRE!(Metro-Going-Hopterayer Copyright)Come and have your photo, watch and money taken right away.See the Crazy Gang at work (ha! ha!) While YouWait (and keep on waiting).Call in at our spacious premises (out of bounds to all cranks).Your Photograph Taken -- Camera lenses charged up to you.Cloud effect backgrounds neatly worked in for your Portraits etc.(Near misses included gratis)Twentyfour hour service provided (Every Leap Year)All transactions are for cash only. We have to buy ourselvesextra rations as our entire staff is under-developed)UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT : SANDWASTE SHUTTERBUGS PTY. LTD. WESTERN DESERTCONDUCTED TOURS: VISITORS AND WHY BE TROUBLED BY DUST?GUESTS: We have the very thing for you.Under personal supervision of GusBerwick. The Sheedmac (Mark Buck) AirCleaner Never Fails.Accommodation, bed and breakfastprovided at shortest notice. Let our personal canvasser DizzyDoan take your order.Call on us at any time (just you try). Then you can forget about all yourAddress (permanent) dust troubles - we'll do the same.Have one fitted to your tent rightSarge's Pub. away.Consult the H. Q., Air-Mechanical Co.-2-CHIN CHIN CHEERIO AND TOTSIENS CHILDREN'S CORNER Conducted By(All in verse). (in the absence of Hiram K. Fossel-thwaite's KOMPETITION KORNER)We wish to pay a compliment to all our Julius J. FossolthwaiteUnion Cases (His Brother - Aged 9)For now they've heard about their leaveit's nice to see their faces A Fairy TaleThey jump and skip about the place as (children over 15 not admitted)though they had St. VitusAnd so its easy to detect a case of Once upon a time there lived nineUnionitis. pho-to-grap-hers — the Big DaddyI'll try to pay them homage in these Sergeant Shutter-bug, two Mama Cpl.Rhetoric verses Shutter-bugs and six little teeny-And write about them all in turn, de- weeny baby shutter-buggeries (achspite a chance of curses. sis man) and they all lived happilyin a little dug-out in the W.D.The first we start our list with, is Now the behaviour of this happyMurray, known as Stan. little family was nothing if not ex-We're proud of him as D.F.C., Pilot, emplary. They never put "Hypo" infriend and man. the Big Chief's tea more than once,Mathias is another, he's known to all they never whistled "Beer-barrelas Wally Polka" when Mr. Van Harley was about,He's done a bit of raiding too — yes they always ate their porridge andthat he has, by Golly! rice without grousing (much), theyAlready we've said farewell to Britz always shaved at least once a fort-and Inman-Bamber night, and they never quarreled whileTo them we say our toast: "On future they were asleep. In fact they wou-roads no camber" ld have lived happily ever after ifonly they had known a little aboutThen there's Wolhuter and "Obie", ob- pho-to-graph-y. Alas this was notservers both of skill to be.Admitting that they talk a lot we yetwish them no ill. After a close study of the starsThey often chance their arms and try in the precincts of the "Casino Bar-to pull a bluff dia" followed by an even closer oneThen cover up their faces saying in the back-end of a "Ghari" Prof."Don't give me that stuff". Hassin Benzine, alias "Shubert", thealias No. 99 to Marshall Square, theNow those are all the Officers, each "Gip police force" and numerous M.P.sone a Union Case foretells the following dire fateAnd here we come to Other Ranks — the which is about to befall them.men we must replace.The "Cad" gives "Nunky Townstard"There's Edwards and Van Niekerk, the the beer he promised him in Durbanlatter known as Van and they both die of shock.And Crowder and Celliers (Inky) all Then there are seven.Sergeants to a man. "McDoodle" gets smothered in all theAnd now the A/M's — there are two cigarettes he is hoarding up.called Rabie and "ou" Schuller Then there are six.Each one in his particular job a wor- Post mortem on Roger reveals cardiacker and a puller. failure when he wakens Robbie withBut there remain the corporals all only nine shakes.going to ease their bones Then there are five.There's Kaplan, Webb and Oliver, Mat- Shubert says "I'll make the tea"chett Saunders Jones. (Indent 1/12 of a doz. strait ja-But there are more of these who've kets) Then there are four.picked the lucky Berry Prof. Rubberpuss says "I don't knowTheir names are Cromhout, Thomson, how that should be done" (ThreeVenter, Smit and Ferry. homocidial maniacs — more straitSo now I've mentioned all the boys jackets please) Then there is one.whose luck's been in, indeed. Teddie really goes homeI finish off by wishing them, Bon Then there are NONE.Voyage and Godspeed. FROM OUR OWN CORRESPONDENT IN THEUNION (Special Nudes Service)At a garden party, held at the resi-For those of you who've still to dence of the Minister without Kitchenwait and hear the happy call it was decided by the Gifts and Com-I'll say to you "Keep smiling — forts Committee that instead of send-the writing's on the wall" ing swimming trunks to 21 Squadron,a representative would be sent tostudy the position of things, person-ally. Considerable speculation amongspinsters re the representative...[Right Margin Overlap]E D ILike asorrowsings.We takau revod stalware Union aoreign cly task aed spried of praeir memory task aand asthem.To though estad theirlcome toighty goFROM OURINReplyinent yesteit wascausedthe desewas howeboy waThe dell-nightoffer otype of[Illustration: A caricature by R.A. Cain. On the left, a man leans over the railing of a ship labeled "TO THE UNION, DIS". On the right, a woman on the shore waves a handkerchief and yells "MISS!!"]E D I T O R I A LLike all happy families, we havesorrows and joys, our comings andgoings.We take this opportunity of sayau revoir and bon voyage to thosestalwarts who are returning tothe Union after their sojourn inforeign climes. Theirs has been noeasy task as the pioneers of theS.A.A.F. in these parts. Let us add ourword of praise and we trust thattheir memories of 21 will be as pleasant and as lasting as our remembranceof them.To their successors already wellenough established in our midst tofind their way home o nights, we saywelcome to our family circle - it’sa mighty good one.FROM OUR SPECIAL CORRESPONDENTIN THE UNION.Blikkiesfontein, Monday.Replying to a question in Parli-ament yesterday, General Smuts saidit was not true that 21 Squadroncaused an international situationin the desert through some shooting.It was however correct that a Gyppoboy was looking for his camel.X X X X XThe department of Defence, afteran all-night sitting have turned downan offer of a bomb-inventor. Thistype of bomb, when released overthe sea, instead of whistling,roared out the words "FINGERTROUBLE". * * * * * * * * * * * * At the annual general meeting ofThe Transvaal Baseball associationit was unanimously decided that arepresentative be sent forthwith tostudy the amazingly successful bar-racking tactics incorporated as modifications in the game by No. 21Squadron.THE SPHINX SMILES INSCRUTABLY ON:Captain Ohio Thackwray for onceagain securing the contract forHappy Snaps, despite intense op-position and the keenest competition. * * * * * * Hugo Reid on his excellent marksmanship with his revolver and for hisaerated clothing. * * * * * * The Stewart Clan for carrying outslight structural amendments to theGlen. * * * * * * Sgt. Ted. Cohen for smartly arrest-ing an M.P. and finding the tablesturned. * * * * * * Our pilots for their one run base-talk victory against the Observers.[Left Margin Overlap / Marginalia]:Conducted ByHiram K. Fossel-thwaite'sKOMPETITION KORNERJulius J. Fossolthwaite(His Brother - Aged 9)A Fairy Tale(children over 15 not admitted)